Random Things I Write Down

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DYNO-MITE! The Neandwarfals are officially Neo-human!

Interlinks for the Electronic Sophisticate

a series of randomly-generated product ideas

everything you've always wanted to know about time travel

when you cross tentacles and robots, and you're all like serious about it, you get octor

a fanciful origin of superman

hotel, an interactive tale by h.hoogerbrugge

it starts out with garfield strips and it just keeps going ever downward into delirium

meet the rabbit !!!

some sweet russian stop-motion animation

it's a bird, it's a plane. no, it's the evolution of batman logos

It's List Time!
Today's List: "Stuff you're probably jealous of me for"

I've never seen the movie 'Dead Poets Society'

That's all I got.

Scroll down and look at that Lidsville painting again.

Did you notice that the witch man is shooting a bolt of energy at the turban-wearing lady's butt? And that the teenage hero is giving this impish look like he approves? It's almost like he's giving the command. Notice how all the other characters are giant sentient hats? Here's my take on what's going on: Maybe it's outlawed in Lidsville to wear any sort of hat. Maybe there's an organization there called H.E.T.H. (Hats for the Ethical Treatment of Hats) and like this girl wanders into Lidsville wearing a turban and like everyone goes apeshit. They enlist the plucky teen-age kid from our world to team up forces with the evil witch man (note the complete lack of a witches' hat on his bald green head (yes, even the super-villainous antagonist of this world knows not to so heinously offend by wearing a hat!)) And the two forces of Light and Dark zap the heck out of the girl's rear end, as if to say: "Get outta Lidsville, you hat-hater!"

Also, did you notice that in the Lidsville logo, the L, D, and S are upper-case and the i is lower-case (as if it's to be ignored)? Remove the subordinate 'i' and rearrange the remaining letters, and you get LSD-ville. I doubt I'm the first person to notice this. But I will now officially be the last! Mua-ha!

Everything I ever really needed to know I learned from books with titles that start with "Everything I ever really needed to know I learned...'"

I've never seen the 70s kids show "Lidsville", but here is a painting of it.

Sweaters for G.I. Joe

Knitting is like the Internet

Official Web Site of the Moon

Spring Heeled Jack! Where have you been all my life?!

Quote from the link:
Spring Heeled Jack - was he a creature, an alien, or a man wearing some strange costume and a hidden jumping apparatus? During the 1830's, this 'man' terrorized England. Described as tall, thin, powerful, wearing a black cloak, the man could jump 20 to 30 feet vertical. It was reported that he had large pointy ears and nose, with red glowing eyes, and capable of spitting an odd white and blue flame from his mouth.

Maybe Jack and the Monkey Man in India are one and the same! Or Mothman of West Virginia! Or even Batman! (sure looks like him to me) Ah, but no. Nobody is Spring Heeled Jack. Nobody is vomiting blue fire like the inimitable Spring Heeled Jack. The 'man' is nonpareil.

Three Links
The Young Man's Book of Amusement
Nanoworld
Interactive Body

And this site wins the prestigious best o' the day award:
Fake Star Wars

The 70's action figure toys known as Micronauts are pretty bad, but I love them.

How bout Baron Karza? His designation is evil and he can merge with his horse. He is the leader of the Acroyear.

My friend Brennan has the best blog of all:
JUXTAPOSERS

List of Made-up Swear Words from Fiction -- spice up your vocabulary with an obscure reference to Farscape (it will make you cool)

How to Be a 19th Century Man -- you know you desire to be one (it will make you cool)

Classic Cartoon Themes to Download -- play them at parties and unleash the glory (it will make you cool)

A Dragon Documentary coming to Animal Planet -- it's supposed to actually be pretty decent (there is nothing about this that won't make you cool; it just simply will, accept it)

Courtesy of a guy named Schacter, read the following eight definitions below and try to recall the words they refer to... go on!

1) metal or metal-tipped spear used in contests of distance throwing

2) inscription on a tomb

3) incombustible, chemical-resistant, material used for fireproofing

4) navigational instrument used for measuring the angular elevation of the sun or a star above the horizon

5) tough, elastic tissue forming part of the skeleton

6) heavy, broad-bladed knife or hatchet used especially by butchers

7) essential living matter of all plant and animal cells

8) crystalline sugar occurring naturally in fruits, honey, etc.

Einstein with a marionette of himself

LINKS!...

Grafik Dynamo!...

1911 Encyclopedia!...

One Dimensional Tetris!...

Sean "Seans" McCarthy (italics mine) has a show of his work going on at the Fredericks Freiser Gallery in NYC, February 12 through April 2, 2005.

It's now up online for people to check out and enjoy from a comfortable electronic distance...

Congrats, Sean! It's darn fine and excitin'.

It gives you a nick-name.
Mine was Velma Cuntingham.

It tarnishes Superman's good name.
On of my favorites is the first one on the second page, with Titanman!

It demystifies the Eleventh Arachnid.
I disagree, however, with one item: Just because the spider has no antennae, wings, or segments in its abdomen, and has way more eyes plus an extra pair of legs - it should not be excluded from the insect kingdom. If I have any say in the matter (and I do), the spider is always welcome in the Land of the Bugs.

This shocking photo proves that the Queen of Denmark met a robot.

For you supervillain wanna-be's: How to Destroy the Earth

For you people that can't handle words that are more than four letters: Albert Einstein's Theory of Relativity In Words of Four Letters or Less

For you, um, sandwich historians?: El Histrio de Los Sandwichos

For you true believers: Gullible Info

For you fans of home-made animated flash videos of home-made musical songs made by high school kids: I've Got Some Falling To Do

PULLING YOUR CHAIN!
The Week in Review: Nutty News Items and Knowledgable Kernals of a Hard-to-Believe (but still "True") Nature

Food for thought: To certain indigenous people of the lower Balthamou basin of eastern Indoclea, the statement "Thus the Heroism: How I Saved the Entire World by Eating a Pancake" by Henry Stokes is not actually a joke. To them, a single pancake, consumed, can have a lasting effect on the health of the entire community.

'Newt'-worthy: Today's newts are not the fuddy-duddies of yesteryear. Many are upwardly mobile and expect to live in a technological wonderland. Car stereos are not enough. These newts want stereos built into the very highways they drive upon. They also dig mopeds. Today's newts sport hungry faces and the latest jacket accessories. They desire indiscriminate laser-surgery on the eyes. They're changing their names to "Felter" and "La Toomb". They want to chat about Everest's greatest climbers while sipping lemon-flavored juices under a bridge painted like the most recent rainbow, while para-sailing. Yes, the modern newt is growing towards tomorrow.

Were you conscious of the fact that...?: Plymouth Rock is not a rock, nor is it anywhere near Plymouth. Still, it really is the most accurate name for what it is, if you think about it. Also, the pilgrims didn't "land" on it, per se - it was more like they kind of grazed the surface of it a little. Technically, we call them pilgrims, but we really mean indians. It's quite common in this day and age to confuse the two. We interchange the names all the time, but in historical fact, both groups were quite distiguishable from each other if you were to put them side-by-side. Students of plymouth history say one rule-of-thumb is to 'look at the hats'.

Brennan reports: I was teaching my students today about the factors of production, which are land (natural resources), labor (work), capital (machines, etc), and management (organization, etc). I stopped abruptly and said: "Okay, one thing that's really important that I need you guys to remember--and a lot of people get confused on this one--is if you're dealing with a robot that looks like a human being, they fall under capital and not labor. Does that make sense to everyone?" Half the reason he said it was so he could tell Henry about it later. In this way, Brennan is a hero.

Factaloids of interest to no one:

My brain never wants to remember what eponymous means. I've looked it up like 18 times! Retain knowledge, henry's brain! You can do it!

Hitler had a secretly Jewish psychic advisor named Erik Jan Hanussen.

It's a hobby of mine to read about hoaxes, swindlers, charlatans, magicians, and cult leaders. I wonder why.

Sometimes I mumble incoherently about meaningless drivel at inappropriate times, like for example, mentioning the names of actors in some TV show and how they're also in some other show, as if anyone cares. It's as if I have this Great Passion for television. I actually don't. Maybe I like the sound of my own voice? I really don't know.

I think sometimes I have anxiety or little bouts of depression and it manifests itself in me by me thinking the following fatalistic sentences in my head: "End of the Road", and "Down into the Fiery Depths". This is at least better than a few years ago when I would think, "Pain, Misery, Death..." and sometimes I'd add on "..Dismemberment, Sickness, Burning..." But I've moved on and now don't think that. I think I'm getting better. I still however fantasize about falling over into the floor and sinking into it. Or getting rapidly mummified and buried deep into a tomb in the ground.

My mom bought me a Cabbage Patch Kid when I was a kid and this maid that we had was really irritated by it, and told me I shouldn't have it because I was a boy. My mom fired her and thought she was crazy. Good for Mom. But the thing was, except for the smell of the Cabbage Patch Kid, it wasn't a terribly exciting toy to play with.

Doctors don't call cancer cancer. They call it neoplasm. If you do a search for cancer in like medical journals, it won't show up. The secret code-word is neoplasm. Who knew?

Yesterday while chatting with Brennan I came up with a fake book entitled "My Pony's Middle Name Is Little." There's a joke in that. Somewhere.

Seattle's new public library is pretty sweet. Apparently, there's this conveyer belt that you can see that brings the turned-in books from the outside drop-off box to the desk. And there's all kinds of cool stuff at this library. It's like the freaking Willy Wonka factory.

The scientific name for clam is Vellorita cyprinoides. Or it's Katelysia opima. Who even knows anymore?

Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art's NOW THEN! exhibit shows cartoonists' work from the present and also from when they were kids. Select the artist on the right to see an example. My favorite so far is Marc Bell's. It made me laugh.

The Robot Bastard movie's fairly rad

Making those Chris Ware cut-outs is crazy and fun

Brad Neely who makes Creased Comics is one of my favorite local artists. The man is a jeeneeuss!

toothpaste for dinner, daily drew drawings, can be fairly amusing

Big Happy Funhouse has many found photos that I personally found enjoyable to look at

Reading many articles today on the Omnipotent Oom. 1 2 3

Found quote (from 3) I enjoyed.

"Zella is too ill to prosecute the great Oom," the woman said.

Brian and J.R. both recommend checking out Baby Name Voyager - it's pretty neat

This one man safari posts good photo oddities

And this guy Tymothi Godeck made some swell web comics

Here are the last 23 headers in case you missed them:

Welcome to the website that's...

"pock-marked with acne scars!"
"never going to stop laughing at the Great God, Pan - no matter the consequences!"
"suddenly become sentient, its first act the construction of a pair of robot legs which it employs to run amok through the unsuspecting streets of Toledo!"
"coin-operated for your coin-venience!"
"your preferred purveyor of prurience!"
"a little lot like a dingitty dot dang a doo bang shuppa kuppa mop face elevator wonder mint!"
"hoping to seduce you with its charming and patented droopy-eyed stare!"
"the classic story of boy builds robot, boy loves robot, robot becomes sentient, robot destroys boy, robot falls in love with boy, but boy is dead, robot despondently ejects self into space where it can be lonely forever... classic!"
"humbled by your ginormous elbows!"
"last one there, and ergo, embraces its identity as a rotten egg wholeheartedly!"
"less a fan of Forrest Gump than you are!"
"brought to you by Henry's Mouth!"
"bedraggled!"
"really not for those using dial-up!"
"one of the known aliases of the notorious exotic bird impersonator Cardinal A.J. Packinspack!"
"willing to stoop as far as posting candid swimsuit photos of the rich and famous just to increase readership!"
"the story of, that's the glory of, that's the story of looooove!"
"your ticket to the exhilarating purifying roller coaster ride that is Esperanto!"
"thinking of changing its name to Doctor Broccoli's Vegetablarium!"
"your cure for the pancake!"
"the birthplace of the guy who is considered a pioneer in egg replacement technology!"
"shirking its duties as the one-and-only DISPENSER OF SOUL-CANDY!"
"goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!"

UNHEARD-OF! Today's Little Known Kernels of Wisdom

In May 2003, a baby born to a couple in Reynolds New Mexico turned out to be the last remaining heir to the throne of Switzerland. Unfortunately, nothing could be done to bring about his succession, as only one day before his birth, the government of Switzerland switched from a monarchy to an oligarchy. The Swiss' new leadership became a self-appointed group of four to five men who called themselves the Swiss Lords. When an Australian journalist by the name of Sarah Larengheit noticed the remarkable coincidence and brought it to the Swiss Lords' attentions, she was summarily presented with a scarlet pendant with the image of a fang. Any bearer of this pendant, to a Swiss person, is a representation of the Ultimate Enemy, i.e. the Devil, but in this day and age, it simply means an enemy of the state. According to reports, freshly oligarchical Switzerland, in an unprecedented move, purchased nuclear armaments for the sole intended purpose of detonating them on Ms. Larengheit. The plan was foiled, however, by the sheer stupidity of the Swiss Lords, who mistook her for some U.S. military barracks situated 100 miles outside San Jose, capital city of Costa Rica. Perhaps it should come as no surprise that the U.S. government was not amused. However, it is my opinion that, once you overlook the whole Nuclear Winter thing, those barracks were in need of major renovation, and they were, after all, abandoned and quite decrepit, and one would think the U.S. would be pleased at the opportunity to collect the insurance and build some better barracks for our soldiers. But no, they were upset. Instead of retaliating, the U.S. focussed all of its efforts on its survivors, as did all the other countries in the Western Hemisphere. This left the Swiss Lords' transgression to go unaddressed, and their confidence was bolstered as a result, like a child finding out with relief and glee he has gotten away with swiping a cookie from the kitchen. They have continued to do dumb things even to this day. Like, for example, making the year in Switzerland offically 1781, and enforcing the appropriate dress code, linguistic deviation, and technological level on everyone. What happened to the journalist Sarah Larengheit? She's still alive and no longer pursues journalism. She used her new pendant to destroy countless worlds (I forgot to say the pendant imbues its bearer with incredible power). She's now somewhere in the center of Jupiter's core, burning and simmering, awaiting the moment when she can strike a massive death-blow to the Known Universe. The little boy that started it all, the usurped rightful king of the Swiss, is still in New Mexico, only I think his family is planning on moving to Colorado. They have better bomb shelters there.

A Japanese woman in 2nd century B.C. once slept for 14 consecutive days and managed to also consume 100 pumpkins, 182 rice-cakes, a dozen footballs, 1 'speak-and-spell' toy, 91 dirigibles engulfed in flames, a box of 673,000 4-ton barrels of cole-slaw, a Men's magazine from 1981, 44 pages of various childrens' homework due the very next day, and some pocket lint all during that time. How did she do it? The sages of that era were baffled (Now, of course, we realize it's just rudimentary particle physics). Many tried to duplicate the event, but none succeeded. Quite a few were able to get 14 hours of sleep, but not 14 days, and only one or two could eat that many dirigibles. But a magazine from the far future? Well, that was an especially tall order. It was decided that the woman must be some form of god. They both revered and resented her. Fearing the crowds would turn on her, she fled into the mountains. It was here that she encountered in a stream a new compound that when mixed with sulphur and peg-ash would produce a strong binding agent. Yes, she is Otaki Nubori, inventor and discoverer of Petrous Lactide, otherwise known to masons the world over as Silversafe.

A bug is only as good as its coloring, say entomologists at the Campus Club at the University of Yario in Montenin, Quebbe. According to them, insects that are green are more likely to attract mates, and insects that are yellowish are considered a member of the unpure beggar caste within the insectoid social strata. The blue ones are drunkards, but many can overcome this by "acting sober". Their ability to mimic the behavior of the temperate have made them well-suited to espionage work. A red bug is a rich bug, and all wealth in the community is expected to be spread equally among those of the crimson persuasion. Bugs with more than one color are freaks of nature and are considered as such. If you're ever an insect, my advice is to stay monochromatic! Also, choose red, unless you like being a spy or enjoy a drink every now and again. In that case, choose blue. Or green if you are lonely. Yellow's no good. Red's best bet.

Originally, the hour between 10 PM and 11 PM was supposed to have an extra 8 minutes. This was considered heretical by the Roman Catholic Church, but they never said why. For one weekend, the 8 minutes was honored. People used that time for personal introspection, hedge-trimming, novel-writing, continuing one's conversations, and running from wild desperate bears. Really any activity at all would have worked - even ones you'd do anyway if there weren't the extra eight minutes. The futility of the Octominuto was not the main reason it was discontinued, nor was it because of the Church's inexplicable ban. It was actually due to salmon fishing, if you can believe it. Salmon, as everyone knows, migrate upstream every summer in order to get back to their mothers, who have been permanently incapacitated after spawning. After visiting for a while and maturing larger dorsal fins, the salmon children, in preparation for the return downstream, begin circling one another in a frenzied bobbing ritual. It is called the Dance of the Children and is quite beautiful. Beethoven even suggested to future generations (in a letter dated 1813) that someone make a ballet out of it. Many observers have "guesstimated" that the salmon do this because they are impatient to return and are agitated in response to the slowness of the group to get ready. Or perhaps it is a way to boost the energies of the lackadaisical. Many humans have discovered themselves rejuvenated after witnessing the Dance (you might have seen the Red Bull commercial with the salmon). This leads me back to the Octominuto. During the extra eight minutes, a knight was returning from the Crusades, minding his own business walking through a forest. Peering through some foliage, he encountered the site of the dancing irascible salmon children. A scream was heard throughout the land as he burst into a pillar of blood that reached into the sky. The pillar started moving towards Yorkshire, which is a county in the north of England. Many who saw it that day described it as "a very thin tornado, but one that didn't wobble about much". The pillar stopped in a village, figured out where the mayor was, and in a commanding voice, notified him that "God Has Come". The mayor had just gone deaf that day and didn't actually hear the Holy Messenger, but since there were a whole bunch of villagers around to witness who weren't deaf, I'd say his ironic impairment didn't really matter all that much. The pillar flew up into the air and traveled to the Crusades, where it unceremoniously dumped the knight, and he was all pissed about it. Meanwhile, the ground shook unrelatedly in this one spot under a wagon and one of the Apostles freaked out and called up God and complained. God said, "Okay, no more Octominuto." And His will be done. Epilogue: You might think that the reason the Roman Catholic Church banned the eight minutes is because of God's Edict from On High, but you'd be wrong. They actually proclaimed it heretical before the Apostle even complained. So... no connection, sorry. The Church still hasn't explained their decision. Now that's a Continuing Mystery...

Jason Little's Bee Comix is updating again.

Fantastic gallery: Whispering Imps on Magic Posters

A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant

I wonder how it is. Anybody out there know? Soundtrack's available. Hmm, curiosity is a cat-killing mistress. At any rate, the meritable Sara Edward-Corbett did the poster. I'd ask her how it is, but she's never seen it.

Also of note ~

Gordon McAlpin's "Stripped Books" covers book-related events from the Chicago area in comics form.
My favorite of his so far is about Jon and Lane, childrens' book creators.

I've started reading fiction again this last year and it's glorious. I can see a difference in my well-being. These are the best ones I read (I'm probably forgetting one or two) :

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time Mark Haddon
Stardust Neil Gaiman
On Stranger Tides Tim Powers
The Light Ages Ian R. MacLeod
Atonement Ian McEwan
Perdido Street Station China Mieville
Stranger Things Happen Kelly Link
The Lovely Bones Alice Sebold
The Amulet of Samarkand Jonathan Stroud
Cugel stories (Eye of the Overlord & Cugel's Saga) Jack Vance
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell Susanna Clarke

Honorable Mention:
American Gods Neil Gaiman
The Scar China Mieville
Light M. John Harrison
Abarat Clive Barker
Doomsday Book Connie Willis
Green Magic Jack Vance
Lizard Music Daniel Pinkwater

Now I'm reading:
Warrior's Apprentice Lois McMaster Bujold
The Crimson Petal and the White Michel Faber
The Grand Ellipse Paula Volsky

Yes, I realize that's way too many books to be reading at once. Shush!

Some day soon I will read:
The Pirates! In an Adventure With Scientists Gideon Defoe
The Time Traveler's Wife Audrey Niffenegger
Have Spacesuit Will Travel Robert Heinlein
And a list of like 10 others...

I've been researching one of New York City's most famous couples. Well, if it was 1905-10, they would be. Back then, the Talk of the Town was...

James Graham Phelps Stokes and his wife Rose Pastor Stokes

Any relation?, you ask. Somewhat distant. The Phelps Stokes' share the basic Stokes line from England, of course, but a different Thomas Stokes (a Baptist rather than a Quaker) came to N.Y. in 1798, and J.G. descends from him. The Phelps Stokes' have been, and probably still are, wealthy socialite philanthropists. Anson Phelps, Jr., J.G.'s brother, helped found the NAACP. Another brother, Isaac Newton Phelps Stokes, was a well-known architect and was painted by John Singer Sargent with his wife:

"Mr. and Mrs. Isaac Newton Phelps Stokes", by Sargent, 1897.

J.G. Phelps Stokes was a little different than his family in that he chose to work (and I think, live) directly among the poor and contribute directly to their betterment. A Russian Jewish immigrant named Rose Pastor interviewed him for a Jewish newspaper. They fell in love and became engaged.

This was big news. Front page headlines of New York Times: J.G. PHELPS STOKES TO WED YOUNG JEWESS

The Cinderella story of interfaith romance between social activists captivated New Yorkers of the time. The media made a big deal about every little thing they did: Rose getting food poisoning one night, a minor traffic accident, etc.. People called her "the Rose of the Ghetto" and the "Cigarmaker Poetess" (she wrote poems and used to work in a cigar factory). The two used the media attention to promote socialist causes. Rose became a prominent activist for socialism and other progressive causes (birth control, for example) over the years. The Law viciously turned on her a number of times, even sentencing her under the Espionage Act for 10 years in prison for her anti-war protests.

Later, the two would divorce and marry others, their political disagreements over the war seeming to be the main catalyst for the break-up. Ah well.

More about Rose, truly a fascinating person!

Oh! One thing I discovered of interest... J.G. Phelps Stokes was a theosophist! According to this site, Gutzon Borglum, the sculptor of Mt. Rushmore, painted a portrait of Theosophy founder H.P. Blavatsky. J.G. Phelps Stokes wrote a letter to him asking about the painting, and Borglum's return letter to Stokes (sent from San Antonio, TX) is still currently affixed to the back of the portrait.

Oddly enough, this generation of Phelps Stokes yielded its own Stephanie Stokes, a leading decorator in N.Y. She shows up on The List.

Superfast Extra Update, because it's just too awesome not to keep to myself...

From CNN: A Chance to Name A Monkey

Thanks, Em

Stealin' Links like a Five Dolla Sphinx!

Amazing Screw-On Head to be TV cartoon

Movie Combinations You'll Never See

They Might Be Giants are doin' the Electric Company thing

Animated music video of fairy and squirrel romance is kinda eerie

So many shoe-lacing methods, so little time

Emily alerts us to the fact that...

The star-nosed mole is really the star of the ~~nose~~ news these days.

Everybody's reporting on it.

Someone who was an old-school fan (long before the media made it a fad) wrote Starverston the Star-nosed Mole, a poem that made me a man. A crying weeping sobbing man.

Nicknames for the Devil:

Old Hornie
Old Nick
Old Clootie
Old Gooseberry
Mr. Scratch
The Old Gentleman
Old Roger
Black Donald
Black Peter
Old Split-Foot
Ruprecht the Servant
The Dickens
The Deuce
Old Bendy

Little Known Kernels of Knowledge

Besides the Scarecrow, Lion, and Tin Man, there was an additional character that befriended Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz and accompanied her down the Yellow Brick Road. Her name was Gatorella, and she was a crocodile who wore jewelery. No longer able to dance the Waltz ever since she lost her spleen, it was her hope that the Wizard would provide her with one. Of course she had possessed a spleen all along; she just didn't know it. The character was omitted in the 1939 film version because it was believed that Baum had created her for his book in 1900 to be a political allegorical represention of J. Robert Townsken, who was such an obscure historical reference by 1939 that the producers figured it would go way over kids' heads to include her in the movie. Now everyone knows about ol' "Tip-top" Townsken and his Masked Whiskey Trumpets and it was only natural that the Muppets version of The Wizard of Oz (due out this year) would bring Gatorella back to Oz, played to perfection by Sam the Eagle dressed in drag and talking in a wheezy nasal voice.

Two hundred years before America was founded, there was actually another America, only it was in England. This particular America, called coincidentally enough, the Other United States of America, counted among its citizens a poet, a street-cleaner, a marine biologist, and anyone who entered this one pub at a designated time of day. The O.U.S.A. had no "constitution" per se, but it did have a dart board. Freedom, liberty, hunchbacks, pecan pie: all were unknown terms and would not exist until the "real" America was founded two hundred years later over here in America, but it's fascinating to understand what the Other Americans did have. For example, they had domesticated pigs. They despised "foreign" celestial bodies, as in those that their astronomers refused to classify on principles of religion and/or laziness (Sound familiar?). They also were not accustomed to earthquakes or infestations of little mud people coming out of the ground and enslaving their children. Nor did they equate madness with genius. My point is that they were basically like us, except without any ideals. They were pessimists, all of them. That's why, two hundred years later, we stole the majority of their name for our own, and promptly forgot they even existed. Okay, I remember, but that's because I read a lot.

If the Lion is the king of all animals, then the Hamster is the jester. But the hamster is not actually an animal. It sure is a jester though. But no animal. Nope. Instead, the hamster is what we call a Herminaphobile. This is a person that has two ambidextric voluble thumbs. In this case, however, we are talking about a hamster, not a person, with two ambidextric voluble thumbs. This is a scientific definition and therefore, doesn't give much in the way of clarity to our conversation here. However, what "Herminaphobile" entails is a certain non-animalness. In particular, a regard to one's physio-chemical make-up. Look to the hamster's nose - is it like an animal's? A scientist or "beast" doctor would argue no, and we would agree but wonder why. The answer to that puzzle is better solved by a philosopher. Someone we can trust and feel less guilty about being acquainted with. This could be inserted into a eulogy or executed smartly by an editor polishing up a book. You haven't lived until you've gotten a good handle on it. When hamsters mate, they choose between three candidates that they are not allowed to view. Pre-conceived questions are put forth "ventriloquist"-style via the hamster, fashioned crudely by a social structure of elder hamsters in a setting that allows other hamsters to watch the happenings and be entertained. Those hamsters are jesters!

On the Vanity of Earthly Greatness
-- Arthur Guiterman

The tusks which clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.

The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.

The grizzly bear, whose potent hug,
Was feared by all, is now a rug.

Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf,
And I don't feel so well myself.

I compiled all of the welcome headers and added them to the best of page. I also added pages for lists, polls, and more poems.

Ducks and Dinosaurs... I knew it!

My Little Golden Book about ZOGG

This blog is filled with real query letters (pitches) received in Hollywood.

This is a fun puzzle page. I'm stuck at stage 5 though, aargh! Anyone with the answer, email me!

From The Nation, V.76, issue 1957, January 1, 1903:

Truth is no longer in a well. From the Esoteric Centre of Washington she has come out, and even now, but sexless and pure, in the astrality of the Occultist, Dr. A. de Sarak, Count of Das, she is radiating forth, "forward, ever forward," even to Boston, "dissipating darkness" by luminous lies and "proclaiming peace" with a steady flagellation of her dearest foes, the Theosophists. Great was Blavatsky, the Russian spy who succumbed to the influence of the most notoriously ignorant quack of India; but greater still is the astrality of the Count of Das, who will "hatch out a bird or a fish in the space of a few minutes," and can thus (for in the persuasive words of his review, "this is logic") prove his title to be an Adept superior to the "poor old gentleman, proud of his title," at the head of the Theosophists. All this we learn from a rapt perusal of the first number of the first volume of the Radiant Truth, managed by Miss S. L. Lee, late a Theosophist, but now a successful scorner of that heresy, and edited by the glorious Count himself, who spells Krishna as Christna (as if Christ could be thought to derive from India!); attributes to the Vedas ideas utterly foreign to them; cites from Manu verses not found in Manu; and cheerfully endorses the claims of one Jontin, an extant alchemist, who can "manufacture the diamond, gold, and the elixir of life." But this is not all. The Radiant Truth publishes Occult secrets, and, that all may test the truth of the Truth, it even prophecies. Who would not be inspired? Hear, all ye poets and clergymen: "To facilitate inspiration, breathe from time to time the perfume of the leaves of the Lemon Verbena plant. It is good to carry about the person three leaves of the Lemon Verbena, gathered on a Sunday, three hours after sunrise." And this is the twentieth century! As to the prophecies which are to substantiate beyond cavil of the Theosophist the claims of the Occultist, only one is vouchsafed to us by the astral Count in this first number of his Radiant Truth: "Our review will meet with the greatest success."

Around this time my great-grandfather Henry had joined up with Sarak's initiates. Sarak would eventually throw Henry and others out of his group in 1910, but it wasn't until 1912 that Henry would align himself wholeheartedly with the Theosophists and become a huge advocate of Blavatsky, even coining the well-known battle-cry in the movement: "Back to Blavatsky!". Clearly from this review of Sarak's journal, Sarak was extremely critical of Blavatsky's Theosophy, and since Henry was an initiate of his for 7-8 plus years, I'm assuming he shared the same views during that time. I wonder what happened that made him switch allegiances Back to Blavatsky.

And who is the mysterious Miss S. L. Lee?! Where'd she come from?

Update!: I wrote expert Professor James Santucci about this, and he responded :
"It is true that Sarak was anti-Blavatsky because he was thrown out of the T.S back in the late 1880s or early 1890s. This is mentioned in vol. 5 or 6 of the Old Diary Leaves of Olcott. I do have a copy of the Radiant Truth and may reprint portions of it. You make a good point of the anti-Blavatsky mood and Mr. Stokes' apparent agreement. On at least 2 occasions he describes his introduction into Theosophy and the T.S. and there is no mention of this antagonism."

The Wurst Gallery - a group of artists is given missions

Alerted to your attention by the ever esteemable Mr. Brian, who I believe never reads this site: World's Smallest Pacman Game

And: Muppets Overtime short or the longer original, an eerie well-done computer animation, the likes of which has never been seen!

Look at all them Lenore, the Cute Little Dead Girl cartoons

I found this today and it made me chuckle at times: Plastic Thoughts... A parody of the sorts of web-sites that predominate the web (and ones I have often browsed due to my lonely search for interesting tidbits for this site). There's plenty to peruse: fake brain teasers, ghost stories, weird facts. And it promises that it is 100% Bee-Free, containing "absolutely no information about bees, their mating habits, or furniture you can build from piles of dried bees. (It does, however, mention woodticks.)"

Look at all them dragons! There's a crazy trailer for a dragon movie.

A return of the Neandwarfals! This time it has something to do with cheese! Cheese triangles shed light on hobbits

A little something for the children! Make your own Imaginary City

Knowing is half the Battle... of the Bands! The Origins of Band Names

Must admit I like this page on Jack the Ripper suspects. Which one is it? My vote is for the evil Dr. Cream!!! It doesn't matter that he was in prison at the time. The man could walk through walls, become invisible at will, and fire laser beams out of an armored space-vehicle. Tell me he is not Jack the Ripper!

The cane battling thing with the cool illustrations continues.

Zentences - Don't quite get it, but it's neat.

This looks like it could be a useful site: Metacritic

Ed Emberley rocks! Emily knows! As do the Japanese.

I wrote Kelly a poem long ago in response to her telling me I was contradicting myself a lot...

"I've got no ears.
No wait, I do."
Henry mumbled as he tied his shoe.
"I am so hungry!" Henry said
when he'd just had dinner and been overfed.
"I don't like peas
but I must conclude
that peas no doubt are my favorite food."
Just how many plums did he buy at the store?
Three, he'll say, but later say four.
"My mother is a pirate,
and my father's Sigmund Freud!"
but later he will say that they are both unemployed.
Henry claims his eyes are "hazel", or some such.
but his eyes are dull brown and he's admitted as much.
After the game was played and homeward went all,
Henry stayed in the stands and yelled out, "Play ball!"
"It was a loss", he'll say. "No, a victory."
That Henry is so contradictory!

To which Kelly replied...

My friend Henry always states
That this is that and then negates
And says that, in fact, that is this -
How contradictory he is!

When he goes to buy some plums
He�s not so very good with sums
He�ll tell you that he bought just four
And later that he purchased more.

He�ll call peas the best comestible
And later say they�re indigestible
He might say that the soup is good
Then later state it tastes like wood

He�ll wake right up then take a nap
Yes, Henry is a curious chap
But when it comes to friends you�ll find
That Henry is consistently kind

He�d never throw a stick or stone
He�ll call you on the telephone
If you�re broke, he�ll give you a dime
And sing you a hug in 4/4 time

He�ll send you yummy things to read
And do all kinds of friendly deeds
Why, Henry isn�t contradictory
He�s absowondermarvegory!

I just found out about Super Moby-Dick of Space!

That's its actual name! It was a monster created by Dr. Lanphier, and Lightning Lad became obsessed with its destruction, especially after losing an arm to it! Dr. Lanphier understandably felt bad, and built Lightning Lad a new robot arm with magic powers. Lightning Lad is one Legionnaire who can say that he has looked death in the face and won.

Walking-stick self-defence - I like the pictures.
Some artist's sketchbook - I like the pictures.
Hunter & Painter comic - I like the pictures.
Animal-Human Hybrids - I like the pictur.. um, nevermind

Action figures made from paintings, like Bosch, Dali, and Klimt.

Somebody made a good Garfield strip finally.

Amateur artists try to recall cartoon characters from memory at Bad Toon Rising.

Sean has alerted me to the existence of Netsuke sculptures. They're awesome.

Jenny inquires as to whether I am aware that but for a blow hole and a few thousand pounds of blubber, a hippo could be a whale?

Doris Stokes - psychic medium

Nature Anthem video

Make your mouse a mouse.. for J.T.

PULCHRITUDE
Ivan Brunetti's Doodle-a-Day blog
Tom Stackpole's Interesting Forces web comic
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride trailer
Look At Me's found photos
Scrappy's Scrappyland official site
Web Gallery of Art's art galleries

POPPYCOCK
Something really ugly every few seconds!
Windows error-dialog-generator
Tall or Not
Dionne warwick's Cosmic Peephole
The Late-Night Cable Movie Plot Generator
Rob's Amazing Poem Generator

PEDANTRY
Historical Country Names
What's Special About This Number?
What did the Moon look like when you were born?
Encyclopedia of Roman Emperors
Chronicle of the Future
Victorian Party Games

Goober & the Ghost Chasers, a really bad Scooby Doo knock-off, starring a team of paranormal investigating teens and their emaciated dog named Goober that becomes invisible when scared. The cartoon versions of the Partridge Family guest-starred.

One-Man Star Wars show

Evil Overmom cartoon

I don't have much today. I did do a big update to my Yeti page. Don't just enjoy it, Live it.

The Adventures of Playboy and Hippie

Some of you might recall the silly quiz I posted that determined one's 60's person. I was categorized as a Hippie. Nate emailed me his results, and a dialogue followed:

Nate:    I just took the 60's quiz. Apparently I'm a Playboy.
Henry:    I wonder what it all means.
Nate:    I think it means that you like the combination of flowers and guns and that I like smoking jackets.
Henry:    but! but! I deliberately put that I LIKED smoking jackets and DISLIKED flowers and guns, and yet it still made me a hippie. What gives?
Nate:    Yeah. I think the only thing that made me a Playboy is that I like Sean Connery and gorgeous women. And infiltrating secret volcano bases of mad villains bent on world domination. POW!
Henry:    Hmm, I do like John Lennon a lot, was an art student, and don't like commercialism sometimes, and am saddened by the war. Aw, who am I kiddin'? FLOWER POWER! Give peace a chance, man.
Nate:    Perhaps your laid back attitude and chemically expanded mind could join forces with my debonaire wit and X-treme finesse with the ladies to form a comically mis-matched duo the likes of which have never been seen. We could fight crime each week and have clever catch lines like: "He sure got a KICK out of that one!" after a kung fu brawl or "hey man, that's not cool" whenever you get reprimanded by the Chief.
Henry:    Our first adventure:
Operation: L.S.D.... Laser-Star-Destruction!

An evil criminal mastermind named Count Crazymad has harnessed the power of a nearby star to create a giant space weapon capable of shooting a laser capable of destroying the Earth. It's up to Playboy and Hippie to thwart such a diabolical scheme. After Hippie accidently (and hilariously) turns the rocket they were planning on employing into a bong, they must look for other transport to the Count's star-base lair.... They decide to hop on the Groovy Train, the Groovy SPACE Train that is, which is the first of its kind to take commercial passengers (all wealthy ambassadors and diplomats of course) into "Far Out" Space for a little R&R. How "trippy"! What Playboy and Hippie don't realize is that Count Crazymad is secretly planning on capturing the Space Train's important personages and holding them for ransom. Also, turning them into Go-Go dancers with the super-laser-ray (it really is quite versatile). Hippie and Playboy manage to outwit Count Crazymad and his evil scheme, of course, blowing up the laser gun and even the star that powers it, and befriending the beautiful, but secretly working for the Count, Miss Lady Fairchest.... Even Hippie gets seriously "Spaced" out. What neither realize, however, until it's far too late, is that the nearby star they destroyed that Crazymad had harnessed, was none other than... the Sun! Now there's no more Sun! Bummer! What will Playboy and Hippie do?!!

Tune in and Drop Out of next week's episode...

Dark Tuesday!!

Nate:
Dark Tuesday!

The sun has been accidentally extinguished by our heroes as they foiled the evil plans of Count Crazymad. Now they must enlist his help in order to get Earth off its "bad trip." They visit Count Crazymad in a top-secret government prison, hoping to convince him to join their cause, but upon arrival Hippy decides to break Crazymad free from his oppression by the Man. The three hop into Playboy's Jetcopter(TM) and set off for the Moon Base Alpha Playset(TM). There they hatch a plan to re-ignite the Sun. Count Crazymad invents another super laser in the shape of a Zippo lighter, which ignites the Sun and saves all plantlife on Earth. But now -- Oh no! -- Count Crazymad is once again in possession of a giant superlaser capable of incinerating the Earth. He traps Playboy in the Moon Base's basement after luring him there with lucious vixens, and Hippy is tricked into the trunk of the Jetcopter in search of a 'stash' hinted at by the evil Count's minions. How will our heroes escape??

Next week... The Destruction of Earth, Part 3!

Henry:
The Destruction of Earth, Part 3!

When last we left our heroes, Playboy was locked in with luscious vixens in a lunar vault! And Hippy was stuck stoned off the stuff from the stash. Whatever would they do to escape?! Why would they actually ever want to?! But then it occurs to Playboy that he really must take care of the evil Count Crazymad's plans to rid the Earth of its existence. After that, there would be plenty of time to continue mingling with the moon maidens. And so he uses one of his countless secret gadgets! The Laser Pointer (TM) looks like an ordinary laser pointer EXCEPT... It shoots real lasers! Playboy points the Laser Pointer (TM) at the wall and cuts out a doorway. Outside there is very little gravity so Playboy is able to swim up to a nearby space station occupied by a couple of the Count's minion goons. He makes short work of them using the gadget known as the Super Gun (TM). It looks like an ordinary gun EXCEPT... It shoots lasers! Once aboard the space station, he learns from a foxy robotic android woman named T.A.S.H.A. 1.2 that the Count has moved his base of operations to a nearby planet. There he plans to put his plan of action into action! There's no time to lose! Programming T.A.S.H.A. 1.2's jet-propelled robotic dog Ruff-Bot (TM) to sniff out peculiar (and illegal odors), Playboy is able to locate Hippy locked in the Jetcopter and free him. Out of sight! Hippy has got the munchies for justice! They team up to defeat Count Crazymad in his evil fortress hidden somewhere on the planet. With the help of T.A.S.H.A. 1.2 they sneak in and take out the Count! They also set the base AND the whole planet to self destruct in five minutes. They get out in the nick of time! KABOOOOM!

Then they realize the planet the Count was hiding out on was Earth itself!

No more Earth. What a drag, man.

coca

According to pantheon.org, the Cuca of Brazilian legend is an "aligator-like person -- a bad witch -- who likes to turn kids to stone. The children greatly fear the Cuca."

Searching online yielded the following images of Cuca:

Cuca is an antagonist in many works of children's entertainment in Brazil, including picture books, cartoons, and live action shows. She is also the star of her own lullaby:

Nana nen�, que a Cuca vem pegar
Papai foi na ro�a, mam�e j� vai chegar

Translation:

Sleep baby, that the Cuca comes to get you
Daddy is working in the fields, and mommy is coming soon.

How that is supposed to induce a child to sleep, I really don't know.

What If?
Montage-a-google
Face Transformer Image Upload
Dance Constructor

The Funhaler

I was a child, sitting in front of my bookshelf in my room. I perused a book written for kids about ghosts, examining all of the various photographs of ghostly spirits purported to be real. I was unfazed. See-through ladies in long robes? I could handle it. Then I took one look at this photograph and it scared me so much I had to immediately close the book and thrust it forcefully back into my bookshelf to hide it forever (for throwing the book away would have taken too long and required me to physically handle the fearful object). I subsequently became afraid of the bookshelf itself. For years, I would merely glance at the shelf and begin to shudder, knowing full well that hidden within was a book containing The Photo. It had a power of its own. I had a bizarre fear that the bookshelf would fall over, the book would land in my lap, and the pages would just happen to fall open to the page with The Photo. Or that I would experience temporary madness and reach for the dreaded tome and make myself look at It. I didn't trust myself. The Photo was just that scary. After a few years, I finally got older and brave enough to be able to touch the book. I didn't look within, oh no, I just quickly removed it from the shelf and threw it into a box of books my mother was planning to sell. Once the box was removed from the house, I was free.

Many years later, I was at my sister-in-law's parent's house in Massachussetts looking through some of her brother's old books when I stumbled upon the kids ghost book (aka 'the dreaded tome'). I was excited. I flipped through to look at the ghost photo again. Would it still be as scary? I had only looked at it once after all. How would it stand up? I figured it would probably look silly as most things do with older, jaded eyes. I turned to the page and looked. The Photo. I shuddered. It was still pretty scary. Though not powerful enough to haunt and desecrate a perfectly safe bookshelf, I could at least see why I was so freaked out as a kid.

Fast forward a few years after that. I started this web page and thought I'd share the photo with all of you, but it was nowhere to be found online. A couple years passed. I searched periodically but to no avail. What sort of search terms are going to bring it up? "ghost photo scared me to death as child"? Then, yesterday, I happened to stumble upon it by accident. It still gives me some chills.

What Sixties Person Are you? Me? a hippie. My dad? A folkie. (who knew?)

Do You Want to Live Forever? This guy's working on it, for real.

Tiny robots self-powered by rat muscles? It's the marriage of biotechnology and nanotechnology!

Special K is my favorite cereal. I eat it every morning, and have been a devoted consumer of the food since I was eleven years old. Sure, I wondered why there was sometimes a woman with a white swimsuit on the box all the time. But it didn't bother me.

So I like the cereal. I'm a fan. What are those fine folks at Kellogg's up to, I wonder. So I go to the web site. The first thing I see is a promise that "There's a confident beautiful woman inside [me]."

Okay, for me, Special K is good eating. I don't buy it to lose weight. I don't see what it has to do with being female. Nor do I see what the following "inspirational" quotes taken from the web site have to do with me:

"A fudge brownie tastes good, but looking gorgeous in a little black dress is delicious!"

"Clearance Sales - Our favorite way to burn holiday calories!"

"The way I see it, we couldn't be more fabulous, or could we?"

All of the above quotes are being spoken by an incredibly svelte cartoon woman named Kay, who the consumer of Special K is supposed to identify with. She is "a great pal and someone just like you who wants to look her best and feel her best."

Nowhere on the web site does it say "This is a good cereal that tastes good and has a good texture. You will enjoy eating it every morning for 16 years and easily for the rest of your life. In fact, you will never tire of it." Instead, it's all about fitting into delicious black dresses.

Yicky.

I've decided to see my first ever episode of Doctor Who. I'm going to start with the Tom Baker ones. He seems like the best. I like his scarf.

When I was very small, I remember it being on the television. The villainous character known as Davros scared the willies out of me.

Actually, all of it scared me. The theme song, "EXTERMINATE!", that weird dark 70's cheesy cheap-sets bad-video look, Tom Baker's nose. Probably even the scarf. It freaked me out. I am probably the person I am today because of the 20 seconds I viewed of Dr. Who at age 3. It probably is the source of all my subsequent anxieties.

But that Davos took the cake. A very frightening man, that Davros. fyi.

Here are a couple pictures floating about the web today. One of them is actually real - Darth Tater, available in stores soon.

Today I learned a bit about the native monsters and ghosts of Japanese folklore.

................................................................................

kappa

There's the kappa - it's an amphibious bird turtle creature who keeps water on the top of its head.

This water gives the kappa its supernatural powers, but when it bows, it loses the water and must run to replenish its head cup!
The trick to surviving an encounter with a kappa: Bow to it... this will trick it into bowing back at you, thereby spilling its power water. You may make your get-away as the kappa busies itself replenishing.

Kappas are pretty popular as cute cartoon characters, which is a little odd considering one of the dangers of the kappa is that it will grab you and pull you under the water where it will pull your liver and/or intestines out through your anus. ...Yikes!

................................................................................

tengu

And the tengu is sometimes a demon with a crow's head and legs, but can also be creepy red faced goblin man with a long phallic nose.

I think the Japanese created a pretty good demon because in my opinion the tengu is pretty scary! Look at that nose, yikes!

................................................................................

nurikabe

Also, Nurikabe. He's an invisible wall that likes to make people lose their way.

Sometimes he can take the form of a stone wall with arms and legs. I want me one as a pet.

................................................................................

rokurokobi

Rokurokobi are ladies that can make their necks all snake-like at night.

If you guessed they're evil, you'd be right.

................................................................................

ittan momen

Ittan Momen is a floating piece of white cloth.

Frighten it, and you may be strangled. Befriend it, and it will let you wear itself.

For more info...
Japanese Ghosts
Youkai Library

Ever wonder what...

...means? Just look it up in the Symbol Dictionary

Robots will win the World Cup in 2050! I'm with the Japanese robotics experts on this one.

If you buy this for me, I will name it after you. I will also personally train it in soccer and become its personal coach. It will make the 2050 team and will become an international superstar. Basically, if you buy this thing for me, I will put your name in lights. Everyone will know you as the intergalactic robotic soccer champ.

Wearable Animal Heads

an animation of the sock monkey and crow belies their true non-animal nature

for here are robot heads as indubitable as i do perchance imagine

and what of the droll playthings the cubes? they are for the grown of us to mock their own cruel lots

it is in the museum of cryptozoology that you will find yourself, followed shortly thereafter if not before no doubt by your mom; i insist she will be wearing mauve

the doodlings of a great many are conveyed to you by way of magic

participate in the prevention of invading space beings

this being another diversion involving the movement of shapes

but last, a rediscovery of antarctica which is something more than it was last perceived if my sources feign no sincerity

Back in the 70's, there were some amazingly hard to believe Saturday morning live-action kids shows!

Learn all about them here. The titles alone titillate. Examples include:
    Far Out Space Nuts
    Korg: 70,000 B.C.
    Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp
    Magic Mongo
    McDuff the Talking Dog
    Skatebirds (pictured above)

Very Odd Book Titles

The Nanny Dimension
Aunt Jeffrey's Not Afraid of You
Laughter Causes The Plague
How to Read Your Sores
The Green Lizards of Sidewalk
The Count of Sacramento
Ghost Beavers of the Bayou
The Old Barf
Salamander Candy
Temple of the Nerds
Liqui-Teeth International
Vengeance of the Platypoids

One of the first famous comics AND a document of my ancestors' awesome fighting talents can now be made by YOU ... Bayeux Tapestry Construction Kit

Emily thinks I created this site (note the email address at the bottom) ... American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Robots

The classic Atari 2600 game made 3D ... Adventure

Someone criticized the art of the Google logo one day ... Google illustration smackdown

It is the Gamera that I want to make ... Godzilla Origami

For fans of the best artform of all ... Cool Stop Motion Animation clips

palindromes!

mr. owl ate my metal worm
too hot to hoot
was it a cat I saw?
do geese see god?
step on no pets
golf?! no sir! prefer prison flog
yo, basil is a boy
lonely tylenol
poor dan is in a droop
senile felines
evil olive
emily's sassy lime
tons forever of snot
yo banana boy!
norma is as selfless as i am, ron
are we not drawn onward to new era?
gustav klimt milk vats - ug

Happy Birthday, Sherlock Holmes! You're 151 years old. And you are the greatest sleuth.

Anybody ever read any Jack Vance? I've just read a few of his short stories, but so far this guy's dipping his pen in the inky black muck what is the fervid desires of my brain.

I cannot rent or buy these products in America. They are only for the British.
    Look Around You
    Spaced
    Danger! 50000 Volts
    Long Way Round
    Lenny Henry In Pieces
    Jonathan Creek
    Soul Music
    Are You Dave Gorman?
    From the Discworld

This is fun, guess what movies these invisible people come from: Invisibles Quizzes

Here are the last 23 headers in case you missed them:

Welcome to the website that's...

"not sure if it should be embarrassed by its contents!"
"remaining firmly uncommitted to anything but Henry!"
"mortified by your persistent refusal to unclothe yourself of the vulgar bellbottoms!"
"built like a brick-house, and no denyin'!"
"pronounced with a UMPTY!"
"pleased to inform you that I've been delighted to share neurological experiences with the world, with the medical people, and with non-medical people!"
"tactfully suggesting you look into the wonderful world of prosthetics!"
"Henryrotic!"
"a treatise on international labor disputes."
"the hottest coolest time in Texas!"
"got Property of the Zoo stamped on it!"
"a big fan of corn-nuts! Mmmmm yeah, corn-nuts!!"
"now required reading in penitentiaries throughout the Northwest and Canada!"
"livin' la vida JOKE-a!"
"elegant, yet approachable; peppery with a cherry aroma and hints of chocolate, rounded out by a great balance of oak & tannins!"
"taking advantage of the season and getting its eggnog on!"
"the 'King of Pretendoland', Brennan supposes!"
"a kind, caring, sunshiny place for good clean family TERROR!"
"the Evil Beast Of A Thousand Bodies!"
"not fond of the taste of wasabi, no, not one bit!"
"got a broken face!"
"fastly becoming America's favorite kidnapping victim!"
"free from the antiplasmic lattice!"

I'm enjoying these never-reprinted Jack Kirby comics from Monster Blog. So far my favorites are:

I Am the Menace From the Purple Planet!
The Mystery of the Tax Collector from Space!
The Genie with the Light Brown Hair!
The Man from... Tomorrow!

Although I bet there's even better ones. All of them have TWISTS at the end, and you won't even believe them to be real!!!

I haven't read this one yet, but it looks awesome. It's about Mechano. And he's the most fantastic.

The one that completely blew my mind outta my brain was I Laughed At The Great God Pan!

~~~~~~~~

This feller's still got the goings ons.

~~~~~~~~

How about some Freaky Animal Manipulanimation!?

~~~~~~~~

So bad it's ~~good~~. Nope, still bad.

Harmony Hall, Moorestown, New Jersey & Kotgarh, India

I know I'm supposed to read and like the Phantom Tollbooth, but I just don't feel like it.

If there are tooth fairies, why not tooth goblins? Maybe they steal your teeth from under your pillow and instead of exchanging them for money, they like try to stick them back in..?

Why are people still into the Darwin Awards? I guess it was amusing to read about the dumb ways people kill themselves the first time. Doesn't it get old? Ick.

I found out today that Zoroastrians invented Satan. Is there anything they didn't do? They called him Angra Mainyu, and he's where we get the word anger from, I think.

I never thought I'd say this but I kinda miss Gillian Anderson.

A few delectable links brought kindly to my attention, and as a matter of reciprocity, shared with you, my loyal flock:

Create A Lego Person

Totally Absurd Inventions

Excellent resource:
Monster Blog

Very funny:
Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen Covers
Where do I begin? Jimmy mad with power after inheriting his own island kingdom? Jimmy the "Superman-Batman of Earth-X"? Superman the "King of Marbles"? Or the one where only Jimmy can see Superman... upside-down?! The Bride of Jungle Jimmy? Oh, they just keep getting better and better.

My predictions for slang of the future:

satanic : excellent, first-rate
uber my goober : to be over one's ex
fake itching : chilling out
privy: an insult used for someone who has knowledge about something
hypnotes : a popular means of communication

Cybertron is...

Please note:

The Fly Eating Robot Powers Itself!

Paintings of Inka Essenhigh

Photography of Charlie White

Sculptures of Kenji Yanobe

Links that Don't Stinks

Find what happened on a date in history - the only thing to happen of note on my birthday was the release of Disney's "The Rescuers"

The Last Christmas - a lovecraft children's holiday poem

The Dialectizer - an oldie, but a goodie; my favorite is cockney

The Food Timeline - this is so rad

Amazing Transformers Halloween Costumes - get these people some energon

The net is full of incredibly creepy knitting projects - this i have discovered to be true

Disney lied to us all about Lemmings - however, one result is the video game and that is worth any deception; it's the best

Cryptozoology and Philately - (the latter word means stamp collecting); my favorite is the quagga, QUAGGA!!! Sniff, I miss you, quagga

Lists of Five Things - why do i set things up like this where i have to make a comment after the dash? fine. um, i like these lists this guy made

There was a Star Wars Christmas Album. It was called Christmas In the Stars

Other people have made songs about Star Wars too.

I like the song Death Star by the Presidents of the United States. Worth a listen.

I've archived the first nine of these. You can find them here:

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