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Pac Man is going to be made into a movie.
Video of Clowes interview
Gallery of Monster Toys







A reader from the North of America wrote yesterday:

what is with all of the mr. t anagrams?

HA..HA..HA!

Man, if it wasn't so OBVIOUS, i'd puke!

No, there's no real meaning behind it. I just found by coincidence that Mr. T showed up in two of my anagrams yesterday. M, R, and T are common enough letters that it means Mr. T will show up in a whole heck of anagrams. So I decided to honor him by making him the Anagram King. But an anagram for 'Mr. T, the Anagram King' is 'errant magma knight'.

I don't know if you know this but an errant knight is one who departs to seek adventure and thus earn renown and possibly riches so that he might settle, marry, and earn a living.

In this case though, the adventurer in question is made of magma, which is molten rock beneath the surface of the earth. That makes me think he or she actually originates below the surface of the earth as well. Perhaps a member of one of the lava peoples that lives below the land, languishing in the lightless lairs? The errant magma knight would have climbed out of a volcano and begun exploring our madly bright world filled with hideous air and liquid, seeking treasure and glory.

Pretty cool sure, but I ask you, is that better than Mr. T?

You see, I offer a choice to my readers. You can have Mr. T or the magma knight... That's what we call dynamic web interactivity! You could say that I'm state-of-the-edge entertainment!

(hmm, that would make a good welcome header for tomorrow)

make me some more mr. t anagrams
try to get one with the word gold, you know, because he believes in the golden rule - the one with the gold rules!


Okay.

This one's subtle:

you are the goddamn fool
=
no gold for you, meathead


i pity the fool (you) for not coming up with something more bold and in your face.

I'm still trying, meathead.

How about...

do good like mr. t
=
gold time, dorko!


And um...

"Ya'll who gots tha gold, rule" -- Mr. T
=
That holy glow gets a drumroll.


I don't know what that one means.

Okay, go ahead and pity me. I give up.

While you're at it, check out:

The Mr. T Random Fact Generator
Sort of related: 53 Facts about Chuck Norris



    

My brother cites Peepo as the inspiration for 'the evil robot leader' in his drawing. He was a character on Space Academy, a cheesy sci-fi TV show that ran from 1977 to 1979.

I like how kids back then had the option to get adventure outfits for the action figures of the students.



Here are the last 23 headers in case you missed them:

Welcome to the website that's...

"not getting updated much cause I gots work to do!"
"who you're gonna call after the Ghostbusters have been proven ineffectual!"
"Beverly Cleary... Remember, Beverly Cleary? Come on, sure you do!"
"stealing your soul and putting it in its scrapbook!"
"now a major motion picture!"
"yours to do with as you please... in bed!"
"a barnacle on the hull of the proud ship America!"
"the kind of site that traditional trout fisherman love to hate!"
"eating itself from within!"
"a very Muppet's Veteran's Day!"
"a place for people who like to pretend to be imaginary magical animals to meet each other and exchange imaginary magical animal-themed e-cards!"
"sort of iridescent, if I'm understanding the meaning of that word right!"
"the only place on the net where you won't see me naked!"
"maintained by a secret consortium of Kabbalistic magicians!"
"been boingboinged!"
"walking among you... in human form?!"
"like a kind of torture!"
"grossing you out by using words like 'necrophage'... Ew!"
"looking like a monkey and smelling like a zoo!"
"got a gobsmacking level of craft on display!"
"selling seashells by the seashore!"
"able to speak fluent onomatopoeia!"
"read daily by the resurrected spirit of the mad demon high-lord Ezgharsh the Soul-Gorger, who finds it quite droll and diverting!"








Studio Ghibli doing Earthsea
Avenging Unicorn Play Set
Dumbing Down Star Wars game
Some of my relatives in the Met


I found out this weekend that this guy was a pretty close cousin. He practically cured the world of measles or whatever, of course (if you're one of my relatives then you have accomplished incredible things I can never live up to). I found a letter from him to my dad from 1970 telling him all about his cousins in India, which he went to visit. This is significant if you are aware that I happened to stumble upon the India side of the family (and how its progenitor was pals with Gandhi) just a couple of years ago and that my father had no idea. But this letter was just the tip of the iceberg of what I discovered. Inside a box that had been in storage in my parents' house for 25 years were some other items of interest:

  • Several browned and flaking documents from the 1780s indicating the hand-written credentials of one John Hinchman Stokes. He was the very first doctor in the family because he was too weak to tend the farm. He began a long line of doctors that at least in my direct line has ended with my dad.

  • A comic book that my father made as a child called "Science Cat" about a feline superhero with a jetpack trying to stop rat criminals.

  • An invitation from the White House in the 1930s for my grandfather to have lunch with President Roosevelt and his wife.

  • Letters from grandparents who died either when we were babies or before we were born written to their grandchildren.

  • Many clever drawings that my brothers and I did as children (like Brian's Cobraman ones below).





    Errant Magma Knight?

            OR



    Mr. T, the Anagram King?





    These are drawings my brother Brian did as a kid. He liked to pretend to be the superhero Cobra Man with his trusty sidekick Ringhals. Ringhals, in case you didn't know, is a type of cobra - the smallest type. Yes, the dictionary is a good friend to young superhero hopefuls who need sidekick names.


    Definitely click to enlarge - it's quite clever



    Some anagrams I have figured out myself:

    Pancake agitates victim: "It gives me a panic attack"

    Henry loves - horny elves

    Henry gives it vermouth - The Yeti's hungover, Mr. T

    henry's ode, a little kiss
    in kelly's heart, does sit

    Merry Christmas to all! - Emily scars harlot, Mr. T








    So I did some research on K-9... Dr. Who's robotic dog.

    The first one... had a laser built into its nose.
    Yes!

    Also, all K-9's throughout all the shows... they all have a penchant for taking orders literally, almost to a fault.

    K-9's original name was "FIDO" - apparently from "Phenomenological Indication Data Observation" unit.
    But the writers liked K-9 better so that's what they went with.

    Also, the initial idea for realising K-9 was to use an actor inside a giant robotic Dobermann costume.
    Can you imagine?

    Finally... check it out, he had his own show! It was called "K-9 and Company" HAHAHA:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K-9_and_Company





    This is a good Batman 60's tv show fan page. Check out the photo gallery of Robin. It's hilarious.

    See also:
    GI Joe View Master Reels
    Cute Overload







  • The mighty talent what is Zak Smith is now bound within a must-have tome: Zak Smith: Pictures of Girls.

  • Joshuah Bearman's Yeti Researcher is out (see below)! It's included in McSweeney's 17. Procurement is my ultimate goal.

  • Chris Ware on the radio. He manages to be charming in his totally inappropriate self-deprecation.







    Reflections on Good Spurtsmanship, or The Art of Whiskey Spitting

    Recently I have taken up whiskey spitting. It's a rewarding challenge.

    Who taught me to expectorate inebrient, you ask? General Hamston Grotchley-Wilk in the Snooflah Valley of Rotichoke, Ontario. He sucks though. I have already far surpassed him. He was the undispewted master Hooch-Hawker of Snooflah, until I came around and bestowed upon him an honorable discharge.

    Women will tell you that spitting whiskey is a waste of good drink. They'd be wrong. After a man lays eyes on a mouthful of moonshine making its clean way toward a target of the spitter's selection and hitting that target with a kind of deft skill a man has spent many a year perfecting, that beholder will surely pick up the art and sport himself and never again miss a swallow.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    By Brennan -
    Women Fable:

    Women stories about whiskey abound.  Some women say it is a magic juice that the grotesque and inane harvest from the earth after the way low sundown passes through the Valley of the Call.  Others say it is the blood of cursed machines who wandered through the desert, begging for sweets and glass from the lungless birds of yesterday.  The whispers of the birds cut them apart, spilling their moist machine entrails into the earth, soaking the deep desert bedrock with our whiskey, harvested decades later.   Still others claim what we call whiskey is not whiskey at all, but a trick water made in Africa by wizards and saints who plot to grow very very rich before they grow old and die by swindling the gentlemen of Europe.   None of these stories, however, is true.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    From Ladies' Mythic Origins of Liquor Monthly

    Mrs. Adam Jacks of Montpelier, Vermont enriches our lives and minds with stories of Gritt Gutt and Rightful Might.

    She writes:

    There was one man, he who went forth with the name of Gritt Gutt on account of his mama's liking of that name. And this man was a sailor and a summoner, who cast a spell to make a ship when there was no ship that had yet sailed on that place in 25 years. The other men upon the coast were jealous and angry, lacking as they did Gritt Gutt's special brew, that which he had mixed in broad basins with the help of the town. The other men saw the towncraft and saw it for what it was: evil. And assumed incorrectly that the sauce he fashioned with the Evil was evil as well. They fell upon him with knives and rended his furs. But Gritt Gutt was bestowed with unusual strength, this being due to his aligning himself with Foul Wind and her forces when only just a babe. The loyalty he swore was repaid with robust sinew and heartiness, and he faced no challenge in breaking away from the men's assailment. They were no match, these men, for sure. None had accounted for the sorcery of Gritt Gutt and his distillations sealed in vessels on his back. He cast spells, and from around his shoulders swung a vessel from which he did then take refreshment. Wildness entered his eyes and he did possess the power to sway the men. He told them he was only a maiden praying at the tide as is customary in that region, and that his ship was not a ship but a whale as well as his father. He told them his father was there ready to eat those men that harbored any ill will to his daughter. And also that he was due all their weapons and any beads or bejeweled items, as is customary in that region. The men believed him and many propositioned marriage at that time. He declined all but one, for that man was particularly fetching in cut and temperament. This man was Rightful Might and now I have told you how it is the pair met and began their cooperation.







    Okay, well, that was very cool! I started researching Joshuah Bearman because he gave a very insightful lecture for the Little Gray Book Lectures (#7) about Yeti and mentioned that he would be putting out an upcoming McSweeneys book called Yeti Enthusiast about the subject. It will, I hope, finally make clear all the insane yeti/sasquatch theories out there that I have been unable to make sense of and mocked mercilessly on my own page. Curious to find out when I could get my hands on such a book, I looked him up and found his blog.

    Wow, a few entries down and I'm the subject of his discussion!!!







    Some audio goodies:

  • TMBG did their first podcast: first podcast 1A, some pretty funny stuff. Especially "Turtle Songs of North America" about 10 minutes in. Ooh, and right after that, a clever Particle Man cover by a famous band.

  • What comes after the Cloud Planet? -- John Hodgman on Star Wars Ep. 1, tellin' it like it is... (It's the last 10 minutes of the realplayer program, starting at 46:40)

  • Ah-ha, I'm putting things together... John Hodgman's partner in the Little Gray Books Lecture series and the singer of that Brookline song (linked below) is Jonathan Coulton, and he is responsible for a pretty decent Baby Got Back cover (Hodgman even does the "36 24 26" line) that was goin' round the net not too long ago.





    This fellow John Hodgman is showing up everywhere in my radar. And I'm glad.

    I recognize his voice from This American Life. He's got this new book out that looks right up my alley, a funny mock-almanac called:
    The Areas of My Expertise

    And check out the clips for They Might Be Giants featuring him as the Deranged Millionaire:
    TMBG Venue Songs

    Mr. Hodgman has his own live show called Little Gray Books Lectures and a podcast series that plays bits from them.

    One last thing about him... My brother Colin is a current resident of Brookline, MA. And it happens to be our man John's hometown.

  • Here's an article about a recent lecture John had about Brookline itself.
  • And a radio bit about his visit there.
  • And finally, recorded bits from the lecture in his podcast - check out Number 5 - "Brookline: the Town that Has Everything Yet at the Same Time Has Nothing" (mp3).

    Especially the song at the end.. My brother may or may not agree but I think he'll appreciate it - "I have been imprisoned in Brookline" being one of the lyrics.







    I made it on del.icio.us!







  • I want to own these postcards
  • Animated Woodring tintoys
  • Celebrities playing table tennis
  • Courtesy of Chuck: Peeps research





    This is the sort of amazing ADULT fantasy I want to have.


    From Monster Blog






    I've been very kindly blogged about at Loren Coleman's Cryptozoo News

    And this led to me getting on Boing Boing!, one of my favorite sites.

    And now I've been commented upon at giantmonster and blogaholics.



    The lobster ladies went down huge.

    So I figured I'd be fair and post some lobster men for those of you who like the other half. You can thank me later, people-of-that-persuasion. I only aim to please.

     

             

                 





  • Art o' Eline van Dam
  • Hey, cool! My relative has a library named after him in India.
  • Many of my ancestors' old hometown - Moorestown - is NUMBER 1!!! (according to Money Magazine)





    All hail the lobster king and his lobster women. This is a postcard that my brother sent me.





    Please note: these are not real apes.



    Some friends of mine got married in JAPAN. I just think that's very cool.

    More Cthulhu mash-up, this time with Lego (.mov)

    The artwork of Brendan Danielsson







    quickpicks:
    the worst owl costume ever
    if i dig a very deep hole, where i go to stop?
    family circus meets lovecraft







    Speaking of cryptozoology...
  • All the detective work makes for fascinating reading

    See also:
  • By Accident
  • Neon Racer
  • The not-so-secret history of Aeon Flux
  • Animateering
  • An index of complete web comics
  • That which made my day



    Last week I came up with some bad ideas for movies. Then I found some real ones coming out that actually put my ideas to shame:

    Just Friends - A man [in a fat-suit] comes face-to-face with an old high school crush -- a woman whose rejection of him turned him into a ferocious womanizer.

    The Kid and I - Tom Arnold plays himself, a down-and-out actor who is unexpectedly hired to write a sequel to the action film that made him famous more than a decade ago. When he learns that his co-star is a rich kid with muscular dystrophy and no acting experience (played by a real rich kid with muscular dystrophy and no acting experience) , what appeared to be the chance for a major comeback turns into a series of outlandish complications. As the duo embark on a journey of outrageous misadventures, the unlikely pair discover that it takes more courage to face real life challenges than it does fighting bad guys on the big screen. Although the rich kid may be inexperienced in acting, his tenacious spirit, unwavering optimism and unconditional friendship turns out to be an important, enduring gift to Tom Arnold.

    Underdog - A lab accident gives a hound named Shoeshine some serious superpowers -- a secret that the dog eventually shares with the young boy who becomes his owner and friend.

    Little Man - A wannabe dad (Shawn Wayans) mistakes a vertically challenged criminal on the lam (Marlon Wayans) as his newly adopted son.



  • These photos will make you believe it is the future
  • This is the Transformers: The Movie book all scanned in
  • Here is a commercial for something called a Mechanical Death Spider
  • Did you know there was a show starring Superman with a giant puppy head?





    Don't knock it, man. That shoe would clothe a family of eighteen for generations.



    LINKS

    featuring sean's art: updated fredericks freiser gallery site
    hard to dislike :animation
    blog of old illustrations: bibliOdyssey
    i laughed: the top two panels
    cool designer toys: invisible plan & observer
    click around: robot city
    from encyclopedia astronautica: real spacesuit photos!... like this one:







    This is apparently what I looked like at my first experience doing karaoke. It was in one of those private room thingies, rather than at a public bar or something.

    I can't explain! The truth is I had a ton of fun. This is what I sang:

    Rainbow in the Dark
    Welcome to the Jungle
    Buddy Holly
    Hey ya
    Every other song way too loud as an audience member

    That's right! I am your neighbor.





           



    A boy survives an apocalypse that wipes out the majority of humanity. Taking advantage of the opportunity, he fulfills a dream of his: building a giant tower of cars. He's had this desire to build a giant tower of cars since he was very small. Conveniently, he happened to make a deal with a friend of his right before the Cataclysm: "If you're willing to survive the plague AND get mutated in some way from the nuclear fallout so that you gain some kind of super-strength, I'm willing to enlist your help in picking up all those heavy cars. However, I will be the one who decides which cars go on top of other cars. The ordering is very important. The tower we create will reach the sky. Or 300 feet. Whichever comes first." And so, with the aid of his mutant friend, the boy succeeds in building his tower... which reaches the sky!







    Today's Showdown:

    Amelia Earhart
    vs.
    Jack the Ripper

    Their Mounts:
    Amelia: Her trusty plane!,
    the Lockheed Electra 10E

    Jack: A pterodactyl!,
    awakened with fury from its nest on Mt. Olympus...

    This Time There's NO TOMORROW *



    * ...the reason being that the victor gets to usurp the god Shiva and bring on the Apocalypse that will end the world. For Amelia, it is a chance to thwart it. Good luck to both our contestants!







    Random Things:

  • When Transformers: the Movie came out (1986), I saw it in the theater. I turned to my brother during one scene and gave him a knowing glance. Words were unnecessary in that moment; the communication was crystal clear. However, if I had used words, they would have gone something like this:
        "So that's where Rodimus Prime comes from."

  • I've never broken or sprained any of my bones.

  • One thing I can still remember acutely: the frustration of trying to learn how to read a clock face in third grade.

  • Kelly was recently approached by one of her students and asked if she wanted to join the Weirdo Club. This is weird because when I was in fifth grade I created a club called the Weirdos. As far as I knew, it disbanded back in the late 80s. Could it still be around? I must have really started something. A Phenomenon?

  • I could tell this guy in my art class in high school didn't like me. So I went over to speak to him and be friendly and as I said hello, my hand accidently hit his water glass that he was using for watercolor and it spilled all over his painting, ruining it. And so I said "sorry! sorry! sorry!" instead of "hello". And he continued to hate me.

  • I have been told I resemble the following:

        a bird
        Odo from Star Trek
        a roman statue
        a superhero
        Chris Klein
        a zombie
        Sam the Eagle
        a Russian person
        The Joker
        a tapir
        Brendan Fraser







        
        

    This is Albert Hubo, a robot with Albert Einstein's head.

    Look who he recently got to meet!





    Really Bad Ideas for Movies:

    Chimp In A Blimp
    Buddy the lovable chimpanzee escapes from the zoo and "chimp"-jacks a blimp to HILARIOUS RESULTS. It's "up, up, and away" for our Buddy who manages to charm his way into the hearts of the passengers, especially the stewardesses. A brief stop at the U.N. allows Buddy to help out his new friend the Ambassador and save the world's nations from war! Good thing Buddy knows how to swing around on ropes just like Tarzan. He even knows how to yell like Tarzan! You'll laugh when he imitates Tarzan a lot and mistakes the Arabian Crescent, a stolen heirloom of the Sultan's, for a banana! Plus he wears human clothes to hilarious effect and, in one extremely surprising but oddly touching moment, an old lady disguise!

    Scroogie
    Jim Carrey or Mike Meyers stars as Ebeneezer Scrooge in this zany send-up of Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol". Dickens even makes an appearance as "Chuck", Ebeneezer's sidekick, who is inspired to write "A Christmas Carol" after witnessing the adventures of his scene-eating grumpy pal. Three reasons to see the film: 1) All the sets were created digitally in a computer; 2) It features a tear-jerking soundtrack by Phil Collins; and 3) Whoopi Goldberg plays all of the ghosts!

    FrankensTeen
    It's like Teen Wolf, only this time the high school boy wakes up to find he's been turned green, had his body parts sewn together, and now possesses broad shoulders with bolts in his neck. A big nerd to begin with (now he literally is a "big" nerd), Tommy has an even harder and more hilarious time trying to find a girl to ask out to the prom. Accidently becoming the star football player for the school, however, does not hurt! And in the end, he gets the girl and everyone in the school loves him. Think Napoleon Dynamite meets Mask meets Teen Wolf meets Napoleon Dynamite again (They meet twice!).

    Pac Man: The Movie, starring The Rock
    The Rock stars in this heated action drama. All those that enter The Maze must battle the spirits of the undead. Only the Rock is brave enough to go in alone. A classic is reborn, this time for a new generation!

    Laser Dog
    A law enforcement dog from the future must travel back in time and go undercover as a pet dog for a family so that he can catch an escaped convict criminal mastermind who is disguised as their pet hamster. Did I mention they both talk? And that they have the ability to enter computer systems and so at one point the hamster jumps into the kid's video game system and the dog follows and he has to battle the different video game characters to try to get to the hamster? The tag-line for the movie is "The Future is Bow Wow."

    David Spade in a movie
    David Spade is in it.



                  

    Nabbed from here







    Olivier Kugler
    Simultaneous Star Wars
    Giant Battle Monsters
    Arty Comic Parody of Clue
    The Future is Now: Colored Bubbles Are Go!



                  
                  



    Here's a poem by the great G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936). It's entitled The Oneness of the Philosopher with Nature. The bit about the slug really cracked me up.


    I love to see the little stars
    All dancing to one tune;
    I think quite highly of the Sun,
    And kindly of the Moon.

    The million forests of the Earth
    Come trooping in to tea.
    The great Niagara waterfall
    Is never shy with me.

    I am the tiger's confidant,
    And never mention names:
    The lion drops the formal "Sir,"
    And lets me call him James.

    Into my ear the blushing Whale
    Stammers his love. I know
    Why the Rhinoceros is sad,
    —Ah, child! 'twas long ago.

    I am akin to all the Earth
    By many a tribal sign:
    The aged Pig will often wear
    That sad, sweet smile of mine

    My niece, the Barnacle, has got
    My piercing eyes of black;
    The Elephant has got my nose,
    I do not want it back.

    I know the strange tale of the Slug;
    The Early Sin—the Fall—
    The Sleep—the Vision—and the Vow—
    The Quest—the Crown—the Call.

    And I have loved the Octopus,
    Since we were boys together.
    I love the Vulture and the Shark:
    I even love the weather.

    I love to bask in sunny fields,
    And when that hope is vain,
    I go and bask in Baker Street,
    All in the pouring rain.

    Come snow! where fly, by some strange law,
    Hard snowballs—without noise—
    Through streets untenanted, except
    By good unconscious boys.

    Come fog! exultant mystery—
    Where, in strange darkness rolled,
    The end of my own nose becomes
    A lovely legend old.

    Come snow, and hail, and thunderbolts,
    Sleet, fire, and general fuss;
    Come to my arms, come all at once—
    Oh photograph me thus!










    The following exerpt from the poem Declaration of The Free by Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899) was quoted in the book "Behind the Scenes with the Mediums" (1907) by David P. Abbott (1863-1934). It's about how we don't know a thing about death. This, to me, is like the biggest thing. If you were to ask me 'hey, what's the biggest thing?', I would say 'we don't know a thing about death'.


    We ask, yet nothing seems to know;
    We cry in vain.
    There is no "master of the show"
    Who will explain,
    Or from the future tear the mask;
    And yet we dream, and still we ask

    Is there beyond the silent night
    An endless day;
    Is death a door that leads to light?
    We cannot say.
    The tongueless secret locked in fate
    We do not know. -- We hope and wait.



    Hoping and waiting... How terrifying.







    Here are the last 23 headers in case you missed them:

    Welcome to the website that's...

    "partial to the endocrine system!"
    "sardonically irreverent!"
    "paying the piper!"
    "the Heart and Soul of Every Working American!"
    "so very very reassuring!"
    "refusing to move beyond the Wonderful World of 1998!"
    "pretty much enzorbled!"
    "doing it for the ladies!"
    "twenty times the man you are!"
    "like a rainbow in the dark!"
    "filled with secret codes that only YOU can solve!"
    "BOLSHEVIK!"
    "shaking it like the Polaroid picture!"
    "occupying your every waking thought!"
    "making a lot of the products you buy better!"
    "gleaming the cube!"
    "arguably our enemy's greatest living asset!"
    "for whom the bell tolls, sucka!"
    "one of them weaponized hallucinogens!"
    "the only site with the guts enough to give Gorbachev a what-for!"
    "the leading cause of nepotism among the upper classes!"
    "positively teeming with allegory!"
    "the BEAST of Eden... Don't make me repeat it!"




    For no reason...

             

                  

        



    Risk using Google Maps
    Stupid comic covers updated often
    Stephane Tartelin illustration
    Robot moves like an amoeba



    So here's my dream...

    Aliens are Heading Towards Earth!

    We have intercepted one of their transmissions. A talented linguist has translated their bizarre alien language which sounds like bad sci-fi sound effects. The gist: They are planning to invade!!!!

    When the aliens arrive, they are tentacled and terrible. They destroy many things and say things in their crazy buzzing whirring language. One of them holds the president's neck in a vice-like tentacle grip. It asks the president a question. The fate of the world rests in the president's answer.

    Luckily, our plucky translator is present and understands.

    "Say YES!", yells the translator. "I mean, say ZOOSH!!"

    The president says "ZOOSH!!", and the alien mercifully releases him.

    What was it that the aliens asked?

    "Well," the translator explains, "first they asked if we were vegetarian. Then they asked if we were willing to be their slaves."

    The translator elaborates:

    "Only an answer in the affirmative to both would have ensured our survival as a species. These aliens consider vegetarianism a sign of civilization and hope to eradicate all meat-eaters from the face of the galaxy, showing no mercy."

    So what's next for our plucky translator/slave?

    "Well, I need to learn Spanish. Heck, we all do. Apparently, there was a mix-up. Turns out the aliens all knew Spanish to begin with. It's what they speak naturally. Before they arrived on Earth, they picked up one of our broadcasts of an episode of Star Trek and somehow thought that the sound effects of the show were how we speak. So using the sound effects, they put together what they thought was our language and sent out a transmission telling us they were invading. I spent all this wasted time trying to translate a fake language. Everything would have gone much more smoothly if they'd just spoken Spanish to begin with. We've got Spanish speakers here on Earth after all. We didn't need to have someone learn a whole new language of beeps or phizzaps or whatever! Could've save me a lot of trouble. Sigh. I'd blame it on the aliens, but they're now our masters and I fear tentacular strangulation."

    ¡Vivan los Extranjeros Vegetarianos!



    Pig and Parents      Pig and Parents



    MODOK
    Sith Abridged Script
    Could Be Useful







    The Real Reasons Our Love Died
    NPR interviewed HE who is just rockin' the whole zeitgeist
    PARTYKA now has me as a guest artist!





    My friends Dan & J.R. passed the bar.

    Hooray for them!

    Here are some famous lawyers' footsteps for them to follow in:

  • Gandhi
  • Kafka
  • Goethe
  • Carlson (invented the copy machine)
  • Daredevil
  • She-Hulk



    Robots

             

    We are defined by our relationships to robots.



    Around the world, the best and the brightest work toward these developments. Then there are those world entities that harbor robots but no relationships. These countries are nothing on the map. It's as if there was only empty ocean in that space.

        

    Maybe during our personal pre-adolescent phase we should start the process of fostering.

        

    If we can get one child to shake hands with a robot or even just stare thoughtfully at one, will our nation ever divide? What if a child exchanged obligitories, and then at a later date, recognized a robot and addressed it by name, creating feelings of amity within the electromechanical thing. Cartographers rejoice! The maps will need no major overhauls.



    I'm just thinking out loud.



  • November is Beard Growing Month
  • Comics
  • Robot plays the harp
  • Another robot saves a bird



    Sean   Nate   J.R.
    Brennan   Emily   Brian
    Dan   Chuck   Stephan
    Chris   Jenny   Matt
    Jen   Dad   Aaron

    There were plenty of good ones of my brother Colin too, and I don't want him to feel left out, so without further ado:

    Colin

    And check out his adorable daughter dressed up as a pig!

    Charlotte



    In a recent post, I revealed my posthumous destiny. After my Goblin life, you see, I am due to carve out my existence as a cute little green ghost named Googaloo. And I will have many friends in the Haunting community (werewolves, frankensteins, etc.). As a kid, I liked to pretend to be Googaloo and went so far as to pen a ghost newspaper. A ghost newspaper is a newspaper for ghosts. I scanned it in for you to check out. Click Ghost News below to see.

    As a ghost, I realized what a threat Ghostbusters posed to our way of life. So I made sure to advertise for a "Ghostbuster killer" and for a new film called "Ghostbuster Busters" about a group of ghosts that bust ghostbusters. I also tried to employ as many puns as a I possibly could. And when I couldn't think of any puns, I just used bad nonsense words like "Skouk". I think my favorite bits are the 'Power hat' and the 'Frog pance'. Especially the 'Frog pance'. I liked it and I think you will like it too.





    Random Things:

  • I really like the way 'weaponized hallucinogens' sounds. I just heard it for the first time in the recent movie Batman Begins. That was one of the best parts - when Bat Man is making all kinds of witty retorts using the phrase "weaponized halluconigens". He does it well, that Bat Man. He is a class-act wit. His sharp tongue packs more of a wallop than his "Bat-arang", I think.

  • Did you know eleemosynary is a word? Do you even care?

  • I'm a big fan of white noise, just in general.

  • Kelly told me she once saw what maybe was a ghost backstage in a theatre. He was dressed in a suit and looked down at her from above and then disappeared. Here's the weird part: He was completely green, from head to toe. I thought that was pretty cool.

  • I had a dream where there was a comic book supervillain named STORAGE. He'd yell: "I AM STORAGE! MAHAHA!" His superpower was that he could absorb everything around him into himself - thus, literally becoming storage.

  • Games I like:

        Scrabble
        Balderdash
        Munchkin
        Celebrity
        Tetris
        Hearts

  • Games I don't:

        Bridge
        Poker
        Risk

  • Games I could take or leave:

        Trivial Pursuit
        Go Fish
        Chess
        Monopoly

  • Games I could never quite figure out how to play:

        Mine Sweeper
        Backgammon
        Yahtzee
        Spades
        I Spy With My Little Eye



    LINKS
    Some Jokes
    Burst of Beaden, especially this one
    Another animated music video I like



    Recently I discovered a booklet that I made as a kid that outlines my entire after-life!



    An after-life story can only begin with one thing -- THE DEATH! And mine's no exception. Click here to find out HOW I WILL DIE!



  • Green Fog, updated
  • Old school stop-motion video
  • The Genographic Project



    Dream Conversation

    Last night I had another dream conversation. I was at a busy restaurant with a group at a table, sitting next to a fictitious woman. We began conversing. I start:

    So, I've got Ratgut.

    You've got what?

    It's called Ratgut. It's a disease of the stomach. I just made it up.

    Oh, okay. I want to get something. I've got something in my, er, in her car. (she points at her girlfriend).

    Inner Car? (I misheard)

    Yeah, in her car.

    Wow! You've got an Inner Car? That's so cool!"

    Oh! Ha! You misheard me. I wish I had an Inner Car!

    Having an Inner Car would be awesome! You'd be like, 'Hey, baby, wanna ride? I've got an Inner Car'.

    Hop in! (adopts a bravado, pointing to her stomach)

    They should make those. Inner Cars are the wave of the future. Everyone will have them. They take up so much less space.

    Agreed.

    BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! And on with the waking day.







    Some stuff I want to get but can't afford right now:


    Shadow of the Colossus


    Ico


    The Clouds Above


    The Acme Novelty Library


    The ACME Novelty Library #16


    Noisy Outlaws, Unfriendly Blobs, and Some Other Things . . . : That Aren't as Scary, Maybe, Depending on How You Feel About Lost Lands, Stray Cellphones, etc.


    The Muppet Show Season One

    That first one, Shadow of the Colossus, looks amazing. You have to track down these giant creatures, catch up to them, then jump onto their bodies while they're moving, and climb around on them like bugs to find their one weak spot so you can take them down. The footage I've seen looks really atmospheric and eerie with cool design. The game's also getting glowing praise from everybody. What's cool is that in middle school I actually envisioned such a game one day getting made.





    Hey, did you know about Krampus?

    I sure didn't.

    Apparently, he's Santa Claus's arch-nemesis, and he's a grotesque devil guy with a super long tongue, horns, and chains that he likes to fling at people.

    On Dec. 5, the eve of the feast day of St. Nick, Austrians celebrate Krampus by running across the city in grotesque monster masks and freaking out children.

    Do a google image search for krampus or krampusse and you will get a ton of photos of Austrians dressed up in crazy demon monster costumes.

    It's like Annual "Dress Up As GWAR" Day.



    I think the kids must have so much fun on December 5th getting scared out of their minds by adults dressed as hideous demons that Krampus is depicted pretty innocuously as a fun-loving little cartoon imp in postcards to celebrate the day :

             


    Sometimes Krampus isn't such a bad guy. He is often depicted as one of Santa's minions, handing out toys and candy to kids... a sort of progenitor to our American idea of Santa's elves.

    Personally, I think it's weird to see Santa, or especially his more sacrosanct incarnation, St. Nick, hanging out with his buddy pal Mr. Scary Devil with the Fangs, Horns, and Freaky Tongue. Uh, should those two be on the same team, handing out candy to the kids? I think Santa's got in with the wrong crowd. I know a couple of nice upstanding elves I could introduce him to. How about a cute reindeer with a light for a nose? I'm sure Santa could do a lot better.

        

    Well, you know, it's a vestigial Pagan thing. What you gonna do?



    Many Links, Methinks:

    Murder By Toaster: Mysteries With Surprisingly Lethal Weapons
    The Very Good Adventures of Yam Roll in Happy Kingdom
    The MIT Media Lab does it again!
    PuppetVision blog and Puppet 101 blog
    Kenneth Lavallee illustration (excellent)
    Horror monsters & Classical Paintings
    Japan's first robot served tea
    What's special about this number?
    Book about defending one's self against robots



             
             



    Chris Ware article - a stage version of Jimmy Corrigan?
    Character Design Blog
    The Legend of Jack Handey
    Robots for every Korean household next year
    Is Paul Bunyan a fraud?
    Toy Collection



    I've archived the first fourteen of these. You can find them here:







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