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It's the 22nd Century (or near-abouts) and that means it's time for robots to start becoming more involved with our everyday lives, just like people predicted back in the Eighties!
Want to surf the Internet? Well, with robots, you won't have to.
A robot will surf the Internet for you.
Want to listen to your cds, but don't want to have to switch them out each time?
A robot will act as your personal D.J., selecting the cds (and even individual songs) of your choice to play on the stereo and speakers that you provide.
Do you ever get lost while driving? With a robot next to you, you'll get where you want to go (more often than not).
A robot especially designed for this purpose will sit in the passenger seat of your car and will print out your whereabouts on bio-degradable paper (yes, we have the technology!).
Want to record your spoken words, but don't want to write them down and pay an actor to read them off the page? You won't have to with the next generation of robots in our lives.
A robot will play sounds that are similar to the words you have chosen, and one day soon even in the order that you specify.
Want a pet, but don't want it to act much like a real animal, but still want it to move its legs some and emit beeps and make yourself look trendy as a result of your ownership of such a thingamabob, I mean "companion"?
A robot, or facsimile there-of, will mimic a pet in-so-far as it will be shaped such that it is reminiscent of one.
This is your future! And the future... is tomorrow!
Remember: All robots are uni-functional! This means each robot of the future will be specifically tailored for each individual task. If you're a rich person, you can have tons of robots all over the place. Even if you're poor, expect a robot at the grocery store to provide sodas for you when you insert coins or dollar bills into its mouth or cavity somewhere in the vicinity of its shins. Expect a robot to turn on a light when you flick a switch. Expect one in your closet that will rotate through your ties so that the one you want for that day is accessible. Oh, sorry, don't expect that last one if you're poor. That's for the wealthy, my bad.
Say hello to the new world that we all (or most of us anyway) deserve!
UPDATE: This piece incited riots, I'm sure, but most reader rage was manifested in the form of letters sent to the author (me), three of which I've taken the liberty of posting and responding to here (with aplomb, I might add).
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