Via the dirigible
Climb any ladders that you find.
Dig horizontally, not vertically. Why? Holes in walls may lead to outside. Holes in ground lead only to flesh-burning Earth's core.
Via a "Jet-House" (a house with jet boosters)
Buy the jail and then appoint family members as wardens (they're the most likely to relinquish the keys).
Flap your leathery wings... Emit a bone-chilling shriek... Hold the Night to your bosom... Fly!
Incite a riot and then quell it. Leadership and adaptability are highly regarded in prison and are rewarded with immediate emancipation.
First, fashion human "dummies" out of whatever you find: sheets, pillows, etc. Then furtively replace everyone in the jail with them. As you go about your day, you'll see the dummies and think everything is normal, but in fact, everybody's flown the coop! Now, pull a switch-eroo so that it's actually you and not them who has absconded. This patented reversion-of-reality technique is bona fide, guaranteed, and tried-and-true. There is actually no cosmical way you can go wrong.
Foot massage ~ you have to admit, it has got to be the best way to break loose from the slammer!
In the wee hours of the morning when everyone's asleep, slowly chip away at the plaque on your teeth with smuggled floss and make-shift toothbrush. This will free your mouth from the prison that is bad oral hygiene. Let's face it, once your mouth is out of jail, you're pretty much extricated, my man. Now that's liberation.
Via Scott Bakula
Befriend any insects you meet. They hold the secrets of the World Within, and will divulge all they know in exchange for dung.
Disguise yourself as a nun. People will do a double-take when they see you in your cell. They'll think, "There shouldn't be a nun here!" Give it a couple weeks and you'll be back on the Outside, free and clear.
Via astral projection ~ Only go ahead and take your whole body along for the ride!
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