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Introduction
Most of the tales told about the boy named Bevel are true. For instance, there is no question he died at age 15 and continued the duration of his lengthy existence as a ghost. He undoubtedly stole the Mad Fog's Thunder (aka his mustache) right from under the giant's nose (It's indisputable - one can count all 58 of the One-Thousand Avengers as eye-witnesses). Furthermore, you'll find no one who will dispute that Bevel spoke the language of molds and glass. He learned this from the wise sage Timendro, as well as how to seal tombs up properly, bake hummingbread, and turn into a salmon. All certifiably veritable, but there are a few stories so false and absurd that they make Bevelian scholars roll their eyes and sigh in a most emphatic fashion. Some of them cluck their tongues too and it gets annoying. There is the matter of Bevel's encounter with a flock of geese on the road to Maskett, his alleged aggressive wielding of a fork against the Duchess of Esh, and the special set of teeth he purportedly bequeathed to the Oothuarnian thatch-knights. These matters are all fictitious. Part 1: The Kingdom of the Geese In regard to the first tale, Bevel was never acquainted with any geese at all in his long life, let alone any winged creatures. In fact, he had something of a phobia for things resembling bats, and geese surely fit this category. The story goes he befriended the geese on his way to visit Maskett, the Wooden City. The boy and the birds sat together by the side of the road, exchanging bits of bread as well as any interesting news (such as any rumors concerning Lord Grant's missing daughters). Now, it just so happened that on this day there was a custom in the area of having everything flooded. The populace in the vicinity called it Flooding Day, and in the villages and outlying farmhouses, everyone had brought up their things onto their roofs and were having a grand old time, drinking from the mead barrel and watching the waves come in. Bevel knew nothing of this bizarre happening and was therefore not properly situated on a roof with all of his things, drinking from the mead barrel and having a grand old time. No, young Bevel was talking to some geese. He didn't notice a wave of considerable height and stature rising up above him, threatening to obliterate him. In the nick of time, the geese took notice of the impending doom. Clutching Bevel by his sleeves, they carried him with them up into the air away from the water, depositing him safely in the upper branches of the tallest tree, which in those days was probably a pine tree named Shersilla. Bevel, relieved and grateful, offered to reward their gesture with whatever task they saw fit to set him to. The geese took no time thinking of a problem for him to solve, for they had a particular one perpetually burdening their minds. They explained that in the far-off underwater kingdom they hailed from, their king was a cruel and gluttonous frog. He had no name because he had outlawed all names. This wasn't the worst of his crimes, however, the geese explained. His worst crime was the enslavement of all the kingdom's ants. The mean old king had been holding the ants' queen for ransom, and making each one of her hundreds of subjects perform parlour tricks for his court's amusement. These 'refugeese' had fled their country in distaste. Not knowing where else to turn, they urged Bevel to embark on their quest, to travel to their homeland and convince the frog king to free the poor ants, and thus restore taste to their country. Now, Bevel never liked frogs. They had betrayed him on numerous occasions. And a frog that was a king, well, to Bevel's thinking, that would never do. It was definitely time for a Dethroning. Bevel asked the geese which body of water their former kingdom lay under, for he knew every one of them quite well (several were counted among his best friends), and could head in any of their general directions immediately. The geese revealed that their kingdom was not only under the water, it was under the land as well, for it was in a subterranean ocean called Lamanna. It had apparently been buried long ago under a mountain range by the Colossals, who upon sight of what looked to them like a puddle, feared they'd slip in it if they happened to walk by. Bevel had never heard of the Lamanna Ocean, nor the Colossals for that matter, but he had heard of the Skullaby Mountains, which, according to the geese, lay on top of the ocean that lay on top of their kingdom. He agreed to the quest with the enthusiasm of a young adventurer. The geese were impressed with his confidence and offered to fly him all the way there, and they did, narrowly evading the cruel aero-barbarians who waylaid them. Into the mountains they carried the boy, swooping down to enter into one of the many crevices in the pockmarked terrain. Down they went, through the caverns, until they eventually hit water, where they dove further still. Bevel had never been this deep below the ground, or for that matter the water, before. Finally, the geese ceased their descent. They explained they would continue no more. They had each sworn blood oaths to never set foot in their kingdom again until all ants were given full citizenship. They bade him farewell and let go. Down he sank until he landed in the middle of a town square. This was the capital city of the kingdom of the geese. Bevel spotted what looked like the palace immediately, and off he swam towards it, ready to present himself to the amphibian tyrant. The story goes he entered the palace through one of the unguarded walls. He just walked straight through the brick (as he was wont to do, being a ghost and capable of such a feat). He found the throne room of the evil frog king with ease for he only had to follow the noise. There he saw the king and his court enjoying a performance of many ants, all cruelly outfitted in jester suits, performing acts of acrobatics, juggling, and belly dancing; there were even a few telling lewd stories over the raucous din. The ants, to Bevel's surprise, were not at all small. They were the size of chickens. Bevel put on a spare jester suit, affected his best ant impersonation, and began to waddle his way to the throne. His disguise worked, which goes to prove the old adage that 'he who is delighted is always near-sighted', for no one in attendance could see much past their own laughter and merriment. When Bevel reached the king, he unmasked himself. Everyone gasped, for what was once an ant was now a ghost boy. He shouted at the top of his lungs that it was time for a Dethroning. No one spoke. Finally, the king regained his composure and enquired as to the boy's identity. Bevel, still shouting, explained that he was Bevel. After a pause, the king's right-hand man, a fellow with long purple robes and a big spiky hat, looked down at Bevel and urged him to stop shouting. Bevel complied, albeit reluctantly. Frogs were notoriously deaf in Bevel's experience and he was incredulous the king was an exception. He told the king that he was here to remove him from his royal office. Someone in the back complained they couldn't hear, and Bevel gave the spiky-hatted man a look as if to say, 'See? That's why I was shouting in the first place.' The frog king did an unexpected thing. He smiled a genuinely happy smile, leapt up onto his back legs and began to furiously shake Bevel's hand. He explained that he was excited that Bevel was here, that this fulfilled the prophecy, and that now he could leave the kingdom forever. Apparently the frog had been cursed to be the king of this land for the last 8000 years and desperately wanted to leave. A prophecy told of someone one day coming and lifting the curse, seizing the crown, and setting the poor imprisoned frog free. The king explained that he was sick of the salt water, and yearned for a pond with lily pads and flies. And now the time had come. The frog took his crown off, placed it on Bevel's head, hopped out of the court, and was never seen again. Bevel was rather confused, but felt he had at least done what he set out to do. Unfortunately, the curse was passed to him and he couldn't leave the kingdom. He ruled it for almost 3400 years, which sounds like quite a bit, but it was a lot better than the frog's 8000 year-long forced reign, you have to admit. In a way, he got off easy. During his tenure as king the geese came back and were quite displeased to see the ants still enslaved. Bevel shrugged and suggested the geese learn to juggle. He enslaved them too and made them wear fur suits. It was pretty bizarre. Bevel was bored for those several thousand years, and didn't accomplish much except the enslavement of all geese. Finally, an ant named Potroga had the courage to lead an uprising. He took Bevel's crown, releasing him from the curse. Bevel, relieved, swam out of the Lamanna Ocean and continued his adventures elsewhere. One can assume Potroga reluctantly rules the kingdom to this day. He didn't free the geese or even his fellow ants. In fact, he went ahead and added another animal to the list of enslaved: the opossums. One can imagine it's probably something to do with the curse of the crown that makes one do all that enslaving. |